...I had a rough time of it when I was little. Even before the foster care. I desperately wanted to be acknowledged and loved, but I was already starting to give up on that way before I even met you.

[It's brief and to the point. It's terrifying to say it this bluntly, but at the same time, if he really wants to say that he's changed at all since then, this is necessary. And hell, maybe he'll have to say it all again in person, so until then, this is good practice.]

You were different. I wouldn't have opened up as much as I did if you weren't. Spending a year with you made me think that maybe I really could have a family. But I didn't really know how to be myself, either. I kept everything close to the vest. I was constantly scared that you would turn around and throw me out someday, so when I messed up and you got upset, I assumed that was it, and fled before you could reject me.

Or to put it simply, I didn't consider your feelings at all.

[Maybe the whys of what he did are understandable, but they don't change that last part. He told Toushiro that he's a coward, and that's true... But the reality is that he's also been a selfish person.]

I don't think I understood that until recently. It might be a little late, but I'm sorry. About all of this.