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[matchbreaker]

Elda Marker

Proud mother of two and resident lady of class! Please leave a message!

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[feistytrader]

...It is. How old are you? Forty? You could've cast your lot in with any other kid, and you picked someone like me. Was it because Toushiro liked me?

[They're harsh words, but they have no bite to them, either. If anything, he sounds genuinely curious, but he's quick to move on.]

I can't say that this was the worst day of my life, or even the most painful, but it is my biggest regret.

[It's the thing he thinks about, that keeps him up at night or shows up in his dreams. It's the one thing he never wants to do again. But that's the scary part, isn't it? He can't just avoid getting that close to people. The only thing he can definitely do is to be himself and do his best not to hurt anyone around him.]

[matchbreaker]

We both liked you. You were bright, and when you can pull off anything near a genuine smile, you're a beautiful boy, you know.

[ She knows it was never going to be the worst to anyone except herself. ... Maybe Toushiro. But her life was, in essence, a charmed one. One where she didn't know real hardship. Her woes were slight, but compounding.

She's sure it's anathema to an orphan. ]

[feistytrader]

I know. I'm not sure if I understood it at the time, but I know now.

[Why does everyone keep saying that? Come- come on, now's not the time to get embarrassed, this is serious--]

And I know you both still like me now, even if things are a lot more complicated. I'll do my best not to tread on your feelings. You might have to break some things down for me like I'm a little kid, though. It's really hard to tell what you're thinking.

[...]

I don't want anything to happen to either of you. I definitely don't want to be responsible for it.

[matchbreaker]

[ . . . ]

Honestly, if it comes down to it, it's just because it worked. I don't have some grand answer for you about how you were a better or worse kid than any one I've fostered. Because the affection people feel doesn't work that way. Or at least, it shouldn't.